Last Wednesday morning, I found myself without any work to do.
You might think that's something to celebrate, but it actually freaked me out.
Working at a tech startup, busy days are the norm. Our company prioritizes rapid and smart execution. We review strategies weekly and often launch new ones by the following Monday. As a result, our workdays are packed with meetings and an endless to-do list.
But don't get me wrong—I genuinely enjoy my job. I have autonomy and always learn something new each week. So when I had zero tasks that Wednesday morning, I was completely thrown off.
Here's how it went:
9:04am - Checked my schedule and confirmed I don’t have any tasks to do, so I started writing an essay draft.
9:35am - I felt a sense of worry that a workmate may need my help. So I checked my Telegram, the messaging platform we use, only to find zero new messages (so far).
9:37am - Continued writing, but still felt weird about the whole situation. Started thinking, “Maybe there’s work for tomorrow that I can do instead?”
9:45am - Out of guilt, I opened Telegram again and found one new message. I was asked to input data on a sheet, but it’s due the next day at 2pm. Strangely, I felt relieved? I was happy about having something I could work on.
9:47am - Tried to convince myself I didn’t need to do the task right away. I didn’t want to waste my deep work hours, so I continued writing.
10:30am - I made progress on my first draft, but I found myself getting distracted by the guilt I’m feeling so I decided to stop writing.
10:32am - Having the urge to make myself appear busy (even if no one was watching), I checked our FB Ads Campaign and tracked the week-to-date performance.
11:14am - I sent a message to my line manager discussing a strategy we can implement next week. I felt the guilt fade away after sending the message. This was a non-urgent task I intended to do in the afternoon.
11:58am - Decided to finally take a break and have lunch.
I found my reactions fascinating. I sat through discomfort the whole time due to the guilt of not working.
In my mind, I kept worrying, "What will my manager think when they find out I'm not working?" So I kept searching for tasks to do, even if they weren't necessary.
It felt like I was breaking a rule, but our company actually supports flexible schedules as long as the work gets done.
So where does this guilt come from? I'm not entirely sure, but I know it's self-imposed.
Over the weekend, I spent more time reflecting on this. My self-reflection led me to three lessons from the experience.
1. The world won’t end if I don’t reply to a work message.
Perhaps it's because I want to feel needed and helpful, but I often worry that I might miss something urgent or important if I don't check my messages.
But here's what I realized: Around 99% of the time, nothing bad will happen if I don’t reply to a message immediately—whether it's at work or in my personal life. However, when I keep checking messages constantly, I find it hard to focus and it lowers the quality of my work.
I'm considering setting specific times to check messages and email—only at 10 am, 1 pm, 3 pm, and 5 pm. I can change these times if necessary. I think this will help me work and communicate more effectively.
Removing the Telegram app from my computer's taskbar might also be a good idea. Then, I'll only check messages when I really intend to.
2. There’s no value in doing work for work’s sake.
I noticed that when I didn't have anything to do, I would create tasks just to keep myself busy. I kept checking my work messages constantly and even presented a recommendation when it could have waited for a more suitable time.
This is doing work for work’s sake. It wasn't helping me achieve my work goals; it was just a result of my self-imposed guilt. This is a behavior I need to change.
Interestingly, the days when I felt most "productive" were actually the days when I made little progress at work. That's because I was simply ticking off tasks without considering whether they were truly important.
I've realized that I can make more progress by identifying one or three tasks that could really make an impact and then dedicating focus time to work on them. I can still tackle other minor tasks, but they should be given less priority.
3. I have freedom to explore and do other things while working full-time.
I first realized this from
’s essay, “The Long, Slow, Stupid, Fun Way.” Paul writes:Here is the thing I think more people should realize they are allowed to do: work on whatever you want to even when you’re in a full-time job.
One advantage of remote work is the time saved on commuting and office interactions. I hadn't realized that I wasn't making the most of this freedom before. I used to believe that I had to fill every working hour with tasks and meetings, but this turned out to be an unhealthy approach. I'm willing to argue that I could make a greater impact by working less. Additionally, exploring other activities offers many benefits.
Writing, in particular, has sharpened the way I think. When I analyze data and propose new strategies, I find that I can think more rigorously because I've honed this skill through writing. I also notice that I generate more creative ideas when I take walks during downtime at work. Engaging in these activities allows me to perform better.
Final Thoughts
Realizing all this, I’m seeking to make adjustments in the way that I work. It will likely take time to shake off the self-imposed guilt completely, but I'm committed to exploring these feelings and experimenting to see what happens.
I'm not sure where I picked up my fixed beliefs about work, but many of them still align with traditional ways of working. I believe it's crucial to reconsider these beliefs as the work landscape has changed significantly in recent years. The good thing is that I'm becoming more aware of my own behaviors.
There's definitely more to uncover, but you can bet that I'll keep working on it.
💭 Quote of the Week
Author Steven Pressfield on the boundary between work and self:
"The professional loves her work. She is invested in it wholeheartedly. But she does not forget that the work is not her."
🌟 My Favorite Finds
📝 List One Task, Do It, Cross It Out by Oliver Burkeman. A seemingly obvious, but necessary guide to being more productive (the right way). And why doing only one thing is the best way to do things.
📝 Sugar Sick by
. Lately I’ve been finding myself craving biscuits and chocolate, but Jack’s recent story made me reassess my relationship with sugar. I’m also joining his challenge of quitting sugar for 30 days.📝 Measure Your Life In Moments, Not Years by
. A big wake up call about how much time we actually have left for the things that matter to us. Hint: It’s less than we think.🎥 What I learned from 100 days of rejection (TED). Something amazing happens when we learn to overcome our fear of rejection, and this TED Talk shows exactly that. I wish I had watched this before doing the coffee challenge.
🎥 How I got the strongest I’ve ever been (Matt D’Avella). Really enjoyed Matt’s storytelling about how he achieved his fitness goals. This made me think that I should take my own fitness more seriously.
Thank you for being here!
If you liked this essay, you may also enjoy “Tackling the Subtle Risk of Sticking to a Routine”:
This was great. So relatable for me, Linart. I've came to many of the same conclusions as you yet I still struggle to talk myself out of the guilt for not working.
This paragraph stood out and spoke right to me:
“Interestingly, the days when I felt most "productive" were actually the days when I made little progress at work. That's because I was simply ticking off tasks without considering whether they were truly important.”
Love how you talk about the self-imposed expectations around work and being ‘productive’. I’ve never heard it put in that way… just because we ‘feel’ we’ve been productive, doesn’t necessarily mean we’ve moved the needle. And more careful reflection is needed to determine whether an action is actually moving us towards our goal.
In a distraction filled world this post comes at the perfect time :) nice one Linart