The $200 Challenge

How I'm overcoming the guilt of spending money

Believe it or not, I struggle with spending money.

Most people don’t see this as a problem. If anything, they feel the complete opposite—they struggle with not spending money. Having these observations, I refused to see my situation as a problem.

If the people around me aren't struggling with it, why should I stress out over it? But now I’m starting to see that this isn’t true.

Whenever I try to spend over half of my budget for wants, which I ironically call my guilt-free spending money, I feel insecure. In my mind, I’m afraid that if I spend that much money now, I might regret it later when an emergency happens and we would need the extra money.

This way of thinking has been ingrained in me ever since childhood. My parents always emphasize that it’s important to prioritize our needs over our wants, and they live by this principle. My father would hesitate to buy me a Play Station, but he wouldn’t have second thoughts on enrolling me in a highly recommended review center even if we had to travel to a faraway city. Without even realizing it, I started adopting the same mindset as an adult.

I will say that thinking about money this way has helped us do well in life. We always had more than enough food to eat and our education was well-supported. But recently, I’ve been noticing how this approach to money has been holding me back.

💙 Why spending money is important

I grew up without knowing what financial security feels like. As a result, I save up more than enough money to provide myself with that security. When the number in my bank account is high, I feel comfortable. When that number becomes low, I feel unsafe. In some way, I might have tied my self-worth to the money I've saved up. This is a sign that something needs to change.

While it’s true that being careless with my spending is dangerous, being too tight with my money is just as harmful. Because the more I struggle to spend my money, the more I'm depriving myself of opportunities and experiences that could potentially transform my life.

My partner Eyang once told me about a memory she had with her older brother. They used to play Harvest Moon when she was little, and one time, she showed her brother her game progress. She was proudly pointing out to her brother how she had way more money than he did, admitting that she acted smug at the time about her achievement. But then her brother told her, “That’s fine by me. Money is meant to be spent anyway. Besides, my farm looks better, and I’m having a lot more fun with it.”

Eyang told me she could never forget that story, and I feel exactly the same. When I play games, I remember how I’m not afraid to spend money if it means my character will become stronger or I’d get some cool in-game materials. One of my favorite memories in gaming is when I spent all my hard-earned money to buy a horse I can ride on Stardew Valley. Why can’t I take a similar approach in my life?

Starting to see this new perspective, I thought I needed to find a way to be more comfortable—and even more excited—to spend my money. After all, I already have allocations for fixed costs and savings. If I figure out how to spend my guilt-free spending money, I have a good feeling that the quality of my life will improve greatly.

That’s why before the end of May 2024, I’m challenging myself to spend ₱12,000 ($200) on something I love.

It can’t be for friends or family. And it has to be something I really want, not something I need. The amount is more than enough to make me uncomfortable. It’s around 75% of my total guilt-free spending budget.

Just the thought of this challenge is making me feel resistance from the discomfort I feel, but that is how I know I need to do it. Now, I need to figure out where I’m spending that money on.

🎮 My gameplan for spending money

I have the freedom to spend ₱12,000 ($200) on anything I want, but I don’t want to spend it just for the sake of completing the challenge. I want to dig deeper and figure out what I really love spending on. What would excite me? What would make me feel good? What will I truly enjoy?

Approaching it this way allows me to get a sense of what I value. Like how my 5-year life goals are serving me today, I’ll start to have a good sense of how I can use my resources to create opportunities and experiences that I truly value.

To accomplish this, I took a look at the 10 most common spending categories that Ramit Sethi, bestselling author of the book “I Will Teach You To Be Rich,” identified by interviewing couples, parents, and young professionals. Here’s the list, in no particular order:

1. Convenience

2. Travel

3. Health/Fitness

4. Experiences

5. Freedom

6. Relationships

7. Generosity

8. Luxury

9. Social status

10. Self-Improvement

My goal here is to identify what my top 3 spending categories are. If you’re like me, you might struggle to find your top 3 just from looking at the list. If that’s the case, I recommend looking at three to five examples of what each category looks like from Ramit’s blog.

💸 My Top 3 Spending Categories

After looking at the examples, I found that I enjoy spending money on experiences, self-improvement, and health. I was able to confirm this by looking at my favorite expenses in the past year.

Experiences

• Going on a family beach trip with good food

• Watching the sea lion show in Manila Ocean Park

• Having a hearty breakfast at the Filling Station Bar Cafe, an 80s-inspired diner in Makati City that gives off Riverdale vibes

Self-Improvement

• Paying for lifetime membership in the Pathless Path community

• Getting an Audible subscription to get easy access to audiobooks

• Buying physical copies of I Will Teach You To Be Rich (Ramit Sethi), Awaken Your Genius (Ozan Varol), and Originals (Adam Grant)

Health / Fitness

• Buying a standing desk so I don’t sit all day while working remotely

• Having bi-weekly therapy sessions to help address emotional challenges

• Buying Twinings tea bags to lessen my caffeine intake while still getting an energy boost

I found it eye-opening to realize how much these purchases have improved my life. Spending money on things I want feels good, and I need to remember that to fully overcome the guilt.

⏲️ Turning Up The Dial: Spending More on What I Love

What would your life look like if you spent 4X or 10X on the things you love?

This is a question that Ramit always asks his clients. It made me feel uncomfortable at first because, in my mind, I didn’t have enough money to afford a 4X or 10X increase in my spending. But I soon realized the point of this exercise is to reimagine the possibilities. That way, I can start seeing better ways to spend my money.

To make this exercise more grounded, I decided to set a budget for each category. I tracked how much I usually spend on each one and then multiplied it by up to 10X my current spending.

• Experiences (4X): From ₱12,000 to ₱48,000 every quarter ($200 to $800)

• Self-Improvement (10X): From ₱1,500 to ₱15,000 monthly ($26 to $260)

• Health (4X): From ₱4,000 to ₱16,000 monthly ($70 to $280)

Here, the multiplier doesn’t really matter much. I just went with a budget that feels good to me.

Now, with the limitations of not having enough money being removed, this is how I imagine spending my money on each category.

Self-Improvement - ₱15,000 monthly ($260)

• Hiring a business coach to chat with me 1:1 on what direction is best to take with my ideas and ensuring I stay consistent with my goals

• Joining Ali Abdaal's Productivity Lab to receive regular coaching and be part of a community with ambitious and curious people

• Buying any book, ebook, or audiobook I want to read or listen to without questioning the decision before or after the purchase

Experiences - ₱48,000 every quarter ($800)

• Living as a digital nomad in the Philippines for at least half a year, traveling to a new place every month (Cebu, Iloilo, Davao, Subic, Dumaguete, Palawan), and immersing myself in the culture and lifestyle of each location

• Renting a beach house for a staycation trip with family or friends, and then camping on the beach at night accompanied by good conversations

• Going on a Think Week, staying at a private cabin in a quiet area surrounded by nature where I can reflect, write, and read

Health - P16,000 monthly ($260)

• Hiring a personal fitness trainer to keep me accountable with my fitness goals every week and to create a personalized fitness program that optimizes for longevity and energy

• Purchasing the Garmin vivoactive 5 smartwatch to track detailed health and fitness metrics

• Investing in a high-quality mattress so I could get restful sleep every night

📝 The Plan: How I’ll Spend $200

At this point, the exercise has helped me find options I hadn’t considered before. To make a decision on how I’ll spend my money, I can take two approaches:

• Level up how I’m already spending my money

• Find a way to make the 4X or 10X ideas come alive

I decided to do a mix of both. Considering all the ideas I've gathered so far, this is how I plan to accomplish the $200 challenge:

• Buying a mattress topper and new pillows - ₱4,000 ($68)

• Buying organic loose-leaf tea and a tea infuser - ₱2,000 ($34)

• Getting a personalized fitness plan optimizing for energy - ₱2,000 ($34)

• Budget allocation for a Cebu trip to reunite with friends - ₱4,000 ($68)

The amounts indicated are all estimates, but I think this is a good plan. These are all ideas that came up from the previous exercises, and all four are related to either health or experience. The reason why I didn’t consider self-improvement here is that I have a separate budget for education, which I honestly barely touch. So I’m thinking of using that money to spend more extravagantly on books or audiobooks.

I’m not sure how I will feel when I actually spend the money, but just looking at the plan now, I actually feel excited. I just know my body will thank me for the mattress topper, pillows, and loose-leaf tea. I’m also curious to see how a personalized fitness plan can help me feel healthier. And I’ve talked to a friend already, and he helped me find a place to stay in when I visit Cebu again after 4 long years.

I think it’s crazy how I never thought of spending money this way before. I had the resources and the means to do it, yet my guilt has prevented me from living my best life. The good thing is that I now have a spending plan.

Of course, the real challenge is actually following through with my plan. I’ll give myself a week or two to do it, and I’ll let you guys know what happens.

💙 Would you like to chat about your life vision?

I’ve been talking to people about where they see themselves in 5 to 10 years, i.e., their life vision. I’ve talked to 5+ people so far and what I’m starting to notice is that interesting things happen when people think deeply about what they really want out of life.

I've been asking myself tons of questions about this, and I’m really curious to see how other people feel. My goal for this week is to find 5 people who are excited to talk about their life vision.

If you’re up for a 1-on-1 chat about that (and maybe discover something new about yourself along the way), just send a reply to this email or reach out to me on Substack.

(i met some really cool people through conversations like this so even if we haven’t talked before, please don’t hesitate to connect!)

💭 Quote I’m Thinking About

Naval Ravikant on the limitations of money:

A fit body, a calm mind, a house full of love. These things cannot be bought — they must be earned.

❓ Question I’m Asking

What would feel good to me right now, and what can I do to make it happen?

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Hey, thank you for being here! If you liked this essay, you might also enjoy reading my posts on how I’m defining my life vision:

How I'm Figuring Out What To Do In Life

The 12-Month Celebration

On living a wealthy life vs living a slow life